Libertia
by Shonetta
Summary: Voyager is home, but old politics causes new problems for Janeway and Chakotay. Will they overcome them? J/C. AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER ONE**

Admiral Abigail Reese, a tall woman with short black hair and ebony eyes, picked up a newly replicated pot of black coffee and carried it over to her desk. It was a large desk, very cluttered, and sitting in the seat opposite hers was Admiral Kathryn Janeway. The two women had been friends for years, ever since their Academy days, and now that they were working in the same builing, on the same floor in fact, they often took coffee breaks together. It was good to talk about old times and gossip about the new.

"So," Abigail said as she sat, "what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Oh," Kathryn replied, pouring herself a coffee, "nothing much. In fact, I'm going to be working most of it. I've got a lot of marking to do."

Abigail reclined with a disapproving look on her face. "You work too hard."

"I know," Kathryn conceded, "but do you really expect me to change the habit of a lifetime?"

"Yes. Especially when the dashing Damon asks you out. I still can't believe you turned him down."

Kathryn put down the coffee pot. "What can I say? He doesn't turn me on."

"But he's gorgeous! Definitely the most eligable admiral in Starfleet!"

"And somewhat younger than me. You know I like older men."

"Then why did you turn down Admiral Scott? He's an oldie but a goldie."

Kathryn picked up her cup of coffee and took a sip. "Because he's not my type."

"And Admiral Layton?"

"Lays himself around a little too much for me."

Abigail laughed. "There's just no pleasing you, is there?"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Kathryn smiled. "I can go weak in the knees for a man. It just takes a certain man."

"A certain man as in a type," Abigail teased, "or a certain man as in a particular one?"

"Maybe," Kathryn blushed. "Maybe a particular one. Maybe a particular First Officer."

At this, Abigail's eyes dulled and she looked at her friend in concern. "I take it by that you mean Chakotay."

Kathryn hesitated, but then nodded.

"Oh, Kath," Abigail said sadly. "You know that's an impossible situation."

"I don't," Kathryn replied. "I don't know it. We had something special once and...and I believe we can again. He's unattached, I'm unattached, and now we're home the future's ours for the taking."

"But it isn't. You know as well as I do that if the Maquis reform, and that's looking more and more likely every day given the chaos in the Former Demilitarized Zone, he'll rejoin them. Already he's working on a starbase close to his homeworld and I can't believe he's not in communication with the freedom fighters. I'm expecting his resignation any day now."

"Then don't expect it. Because I really don't think things will come to that."

"They will, Kath. They are. You just don't want to accept it. But you must because it's going to happen. The colonists are not going to let either us or the Cardassians take control of their worlds again. They're going to unite and fight for an independent state. That fighting force will be The Maquis."

At these words, tears welled in Kathryn's eyes. Abigail was right. In her heart, she knew that. And, in her heart, she had been dreading this for weeks. Because if the Maquis did revive, and it did look likely, she knew Chakotay would rejoin them. He would see it as his duty, his obligation to his family. And, if he did rejoin, she didn't want to think about the implications. So she didn't think about them. She just put the matter out of her mind.

"I know it's hard to let go of someone," Abigail went on, "and I know you've had to do it more times than is fair, but sometimes it's only in waking up from a dream that we can move on. You and Chakotay are from different sides of a divide too great to bridge."

"I know," Kathryn said, wiping away a tear. "I know the time and tide has always been against us. And, the truth is, I don't know what he feels for me now. We've barely been in touch since we got home and I know he's been dating other women. But I've been dating other men too and...and none of them even come close to him. So I ask myself what's the point? What's the point in sitting opposite a man all night, trying hard to be interested in what he's saying, when all the time I'm thinking about someone else? There is no point. So I'm not doing it anymore. If I'm meant to be with someone, and that someone isn't Chakotay, then I'm just going let things happen by themselves. But, right now, I don't want anyone but him. I think about him all the time and I miss him all the time."

Abigail reached out and put her hand on Kathryn's. "I'm sorry, Kath. Truly."

"Me too. I'm sorry for so many things. Not that I have regrets, I don't see how we could have done things differently on Voyager, but I'm sorry that things are the way they are now. I'm sorry that we've gone our separate ways and I'm sorry that the issue that brought us together is still an issue. I really didn't think it would be. We were given the impression that the region was stable now and the colonies independent."

"That's always been the official line. But there's been tension there for years. No one knows who owns what and everyone thinks they have the best claim. I'm not surprised the conflict is escalating. I'm just surprised it's taken this long."

"I wish it hadn't. I wish it was all over."

"You and all of us. But it isn't and we have to accept that. We also have to accept that this is just the beginning. We're probably looking at a long struggle with a lot of bloodshed."

"But why? Why does the Federation have to interfere? They lost all claim to those colonies when they abandoned them."

"I agree but many don't. They feel it's in the interest of Federation security to control them again. Relations with the Cardassians have soured and it doesn't serve anyone's interest to have this no man's land between us. Regaining control of the colonies would stabilize the area and fortify our border. At present it comes under fire daily from the freedom fighters."

"Only because the Federation is trying to take what it isn't theirs." Frustrated and angry, Kathryn got to her feet and went over to the office window. "Damn this conflict! And damn that treaty for causing it in the first place!"

Seeing how upset Kathryn was getting, and with good cause, Abigail tried to change the subject.

"Let's not talk about this anymore. If what's likely comes to pass then we'll all have to deal with it then. But, as you say, who knows what will happen. Politics can change in an instant. And, if does, Chakotay will be back to teach at The Academy next semester as planned. That will give you and he the chance you've always hoped for."

"Yes," Kathryn conceded. "It will. But I don't hope anymore. Not really. I'm too afraid to."

Abigail got up, joined Kathryn at the window, and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I think you do. Otherwise you'd have said yes to the dishy D."

At this, Kathryn had to smile. "Maybe."

"Definitely. But if you don't want him that leaves him free for me. So, what do you say? Will you charm him into a date with me if I do all the Nylacine Reports next week?"

Kathryn laughed. "Charm a man who wants to date me into dating you?"

"Yes. You know you can do it."

"For a week off the Nylacine Reports, I know I can try."

Abigail laughed now. "Then we have a deal?"

Kathryn nodded. "We have a deal."

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	2. Chapter 2

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**A WEEK LATER**

After a tiring, but unevenful day of lecturing, Kathryn left her office and made her way to the self-service transporters at the end of her corridor. They were opposite the lifts, four in all, and were unoccupied. Leisurely, she stepped onto one and was just about to put in the desination co-ordinates when Admiral Geoff Carter called to her. The elderly man was stepping out of a lift and there was an urgency in his voice.

"Admiral," he cried. "Admiral Janeway!"

Kathryn looked up at him and smiled. "Good evening, Sir."

"Very little good about it, I'm afraid," he answered. "At least, not for some of us. Have you...heard?"

"I can only assume I haven't," Kathryn replied. "If I had, I'd know what you're talking about."

"I thought as much. Word has just reached me and it generally does before any one else. But, given your..." he paused slightly, "contacts, I thought you might have had wind."

Kathryn frowned. "My contacts?" He made it sound as though she was some kind of spymistress with a network of underground informants. These days her life wasn't that glamorous. All her work consisted of was giving orders, attending meetings, and teaching. Classified work was, at least for the moment, the domain of others.

"The Maquis," he answered. "But let's not talk here. Corridors have ears. Let's go to your office."

The Maquis. At those words, Kathryn felt her stomach churn. It must have happened then. The thing she had been dreading. The Maquis revival.

_Hell is empty and all the devils are here._

But she had to shut her mind to the demons. Had to be strong. History might not repeat itself. Chakotay might not rejoin.

"Ok, Sir," she said quietly. "Follow me."

The Admiral followed her to her office, which was only a short walk away, and when inside Kathryn made a beeline for the replicator. Even if Admiral Carter didn't need a drink, she did. A coffee for courage.

"A coffee, Sir?"

"No, thank you," he answered. "But you go ahead."

Kathryn was going to, anyway, and quickly replicated herself a cup of steaming black coffee. As she did, the Admiral talked on.

"I won't beat around the bush," he said, "and I won't insult your intelligence by implying you haven't figured out what I'm going to say. If I've been fearing it, you must have been too. The Maquis have reformed. An official declaration is imminent."

At this confirmation, Kathryn felt her world crumble, but somehow she was able to keep her composure. Keep it and pick up her coffee.

"You're right," she said, turning to the Admiral. "I have been fearing it. Or rather, dreading it. I knew in my heart it would come to pass. I just hoped it would not."

"So did I. It puts those of us with a...connection...to former Maquis in a precarious position. We're not going to be trusted, which means we can kiss goodbye to any classified work, and we're going to be targeted by anti-Maquis militants."

"With all due respect," Kathryn said, "those are the least of my concerns. I'm more concerned about friends and colleagues, people I've come to care about. I know some won't rejoin, their obligations are elsewhere now, but others will feel it their duty."

"Like Chakotay?"

Kathryn took a much needed sip of coffee. "I can't speak for him. All I can say is some. And that's...it's going to mean divided loyalties. For us and for them."

"Which is why we may aswell say our careers are dead in the water. This conflict could go on for years, the last did, and it'll be years more before we're back in favor. I know because I've only just come out of the wilderness. I was on the sidelines for years because my brother was in the Maquis. And, as I haven't heard from him in weeks, my guess is he's involved in this resurrection." He paused. "Have you heard from Chakotay? I believe he's working on a starbase close to his homeworld."

"Yes," Kathryn answered, the knowledge being common, "but I haven't heard from him. We're not in touch much."

"I find that hard to believe. By all accounts you're very close."

Not close enough, Kathryn wanted to say, but what she ended up saying was: "We were once. We had to be. But, first and foremost, we were Captain and First Officer. Now we're no longer working together, or even living in the same space, we've drifted apart. It happens."

"All too often, I guess. But is he amongst those ex-Maquis you care about? Or when you referring exclusively to B'Elanna Paris?"

"No, I wasn't. I still care about him. Very much. As to B'Elanna, she's one of those that I said wouldn't rejoin. While the cause will have her sympathy, she has a baby to care for. She's not at liberty to take up arms."

"But Chakotay is."

"Yes," Kathryn conceded, "Chakotay is."

Suddenly, the door chime played. Glad of the distraction, Kathryn stepped away from the Admiral and called out.

"Come in!"

The doors opened and Abigail came in. She looked disappointed to see Geoff, but masked it well with a polite smile.

"Hello, Geoff."

"Hello," he replied.

Abigail then turned to Kathryn. "I'm sorry to interupt, but I need to speak with you urgently."

Kathryn opened her mouth to speak, but Geoff got in first.

"If it's about the Maquis, I've already told her. In fact, that's what we're discussing now. A fine kettle of fish, isn't it?"

"Yes," Abigail replied. "I really hoped things wouldn't come to this...for all our sakes."

"Well, they have, and now we're going to have to live with the stink. So, Admiral Janeway, what are you going to do? If Chakotay and the other ex-Maquis members of your former crew rejoin, are you going to disassociate yourself from them or declare yourself a sympathizer?"

Abigail answered. "That's none of your business, Geoff."

"I think it is. Because we're all sprayed with the same paint. Your niece was in the Maquis, some of Kathryn's crew was, and my brother. We're going to have to stick together because there aren't that many sympathizers in the admiralty."

"Oh, I don't know," Abigail replied. "I think there's more than you know. They just don't wear their hearts on their sleeve."

"And you? Will you?"

"Never, but always. Now, if you don't mind, I really need to speak with Admiral Janeway alone."

The Admiral sighed. "Very well. But if you need me, you know where to find me. I have a feeling we're going to be spending a lot of time in each other's company from now on."

With that, he left, and as the doors closed behind him, Abigail let off steam.

"God, I hate that man! Just who does he think he is?"

"Our senior, for one," Kathryn replied, putting down her coffee. "A renowned scientist, for another. And he's right. We're not going to be trusted now. But I don't care. That's the least of my worries."

Abigail closed the gap between them and put her hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kath. I really did hope things wouldn't come to this."

"I know you did. Even though you've had your finger far more on the pulse than me, mostly because I didn't want to feel the strength of the beat, I know you hoped for a different outcome." She paused. "I guess some would say it's karma. Eight years ago I was prepared to throw Chakotay and his crew in jail just for defending what was theirs. Now I could lose him to that cause."

"I wish I could say otherwise," Abigail said sadly, "but I've just received Chakotay's resignation. That's why I'm here. I wanted you to know first."

Kathryn's face paled and Abigail's heart went out to her.

"I really am sorry, Kath."

For a long moment Kathryn did nothing, said nothing, but then she spoke. "This...this resignation. Was it...in person?"

"No. It was in writing, witnessed by admirals at the starbase, and relayed to me."

"I...I see."

Slowly, painfully, Kathryn turned away from her friend and sat on a couch that ran under her office window. Sat there and gazed out vacantly at the dusty San Francisco night sky.

"He's not the only one," Abigail went on. "As of now, there have been five hundred resignations. Needless to say, they've all joined the Maquis."

Kathryn slouched and rested her head on her right hand. "Then it's true what they say. History does repeat itself."

"All the time. Already plans are being made to apprehend defectors. In fact, I was asked to recruit crews. Needless to say I refused."

"I don't suppose they'll even bother asking me. But if they do, I'll tell them to go to hell." She paused. "You know? I thought that if I got this news, that the Maquis had reformed and Chakotay had rejoined, I would cry and never stop. But I'm not crying. I'm just...numb. Maybe because...because I've got decisions to make."

"What kind of decisions?"

"Whether I stay in Starfleet or...or join him."

Abigail's eyes widened in alarm. "You mean...join the Maquis?"

Kathryn nodded.

"But you can't be serious."

"Very. The Federation has no right to those colonies. Chakotay and his people need all the help they can get."

"Maybe, but to defect? How can you even consider it?"

"Because, like him, I fight for what's right. If that means leaving Starfleet, so be it. After all, I wouldn't be alone. What did you say, five hundred resignations already?"

"Yes, but from..."

"Those who have loved ones in the affected territories. Well, so do I now."

Abigail sat beside her. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. Think with your head, Kathryn. If you join the Maquis your career is ruined."

"I don't care. There are more important things."

"Like what? Winning back the heart of the man you love? Because he might not love you anymore, Kath. You'd be sacrifing everything for nothing."

Kathryn barely blinked. "That's not it."

"Isn't it? If Chakotay was not in the picture would you even be considering this?"

"I can't answer that."

"Well, I can. You wouldn't be. And you can't consider it now. You can't think with your heart. Don't throw everything you've worked for away on a man. None of them are worth it."

Kathryn turned sharply to her. "Is that what you think? That I'm so head over heels in love that I'd do anything to get my man? How can you? How dare you? For years I suppressed everything I felt for Chakotay to do my duty to my crew. Even though I loved him, even though I ached to be with him, I never once crossed the line. And you think that was easy? You think I didn't long to go to him on lonely nights? You think I didn't long for his touch? Well, I did. I did! But always duty came first. Always!"

"I'm sorry," Abigail said. "I know how much you sacrificed. I just...I'm worried about you. I've never heard you talk like this."

"I've never felt like this. I've never questioned where my duty lies. But now I do. I question whether it belongs with the Federation or with Chakotay."

"If he was your husband, or even a partner, I could understand it, but he isn't, Kath. You don't owe him anything."

"I do. I owe him my loyalty. I owe him my support. He gave me both unwaveringly on Voyager."

"Because he had to. It was..."

"No, he didn't have to. He could have taken over the ship. There were enough Maquis. But he didn't. Even though he had cause to hate me, he respected me, and because of that respect we were able to unite our crews. I couldn't have got through those years without him, and all he was to me I should now be to him."

"Why? Because you feel you're in his debt?"

"No, because that's what friends do. Friends help each other fight the just cause. There's no way I can support the Federation. And if I can't, if my heart is on the other side, how, in all conscience, can I stay in Starfleet? I can't. Chakotay needs me."

"And your family? Don't they need you too? You've barely been back six months. Can you really leave them so soon?"

"They'd understand."

"Would they? Because the media and the public can be unforgiving. You'd no longer be a heroine, you'd be a traitor, and it's your family who would have to face the backlash. Can you do that to them?"

There was a long silence, then Kathryn buried her head in her hands.

"No," she said in frustration. "No, I can't. But neither can I let Chakotay down."

"And how are you doing that? Has he asked you to help him? Has he even been in touch to ask how you're faring in all this?"

"No," Kathryn confessed.

"Then don't put yourself through the ringer. He's asked nothing from you and he probably wants nothing of you. So, as hard as it is, keep trying to move on. Keep trying to close the door on that period of your life."

"I can't," Kathryn said. "I..." She turned back to the window. "But you're right. If Chakotay still cared then...then he'd have been in touch. But maybe he never cared, not the way I thought he did. Maybe everything between us was just in my head."

"I'm sure he did care, Kath. You were out there alone and that's got to make for a special bond. But that time has gone and he has a new life now."

"Yes. Just like Mark does. I'm clearly forgettable."

"That's not what I meant."

"No, but it's true. And so were Jane Austen's words. We women love longest when all hope is gone."

Gently, Abigail put her hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "You'll find the right guy, Kath. We both will. They're out there."

"Maybe you will, but not me. I'm done with men. I'm done with everything. I used to think the Federation could do no wrong, that Starfleet ideals were the highest and best. But now I see that they aren't. Now I see that Starfleet can be as self-serving as the Cardassians. And that makes me ashamed. It makes me ashamed to wear this uniform. But don't worry. I'll keep on wearing it. I'll keep on playing the only part it seems I was born to play." She pursed her lips and leant her head on her hand again. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

"I do mind. I don't like to see you like this."

"Then leave and you won't have to."

"How about we both leave? How about we go to my place and take our mind of all this with a holo-game or something?"

"I don't feel like it. Besides, you have a date with Damon tonight."

"I can cancel."

"After all the effort we went to? You go and enjoy it."

"But..."

"No buts. I'll be fine."

Abigail hesitated, but then relented. "Ok. I'll go. But call me if you need me."

Kathryn nodded. "I will."

Abigail then left, most reluctantly, and Kathryn was alone.

Alone with her thoughts.

Alone in hell.

But she couldn't cry. Even though her heart was breaking, and the shattered pieces were stabbing her insides, she couldn't feel the pain.

Numb.

Just numb.

And then the messages began. One after another from colleagues, friends and family. Clearly the news had broken. But Kathryn didn't answer them. She had nothing to say. Not even to B'Elanna. What could she say? So she ignored the messages. Ignored them and left her office. It was quiet in the corridor beyond. Quiet and calm. And she was glad for that as she didn't want to see anyone. With haste, she made her way to the transporters, and then quickly beamed herself home.

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**


	3. Chapter 3

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER THREE**

As always, Kathryn's home transport deposited her in the lounge of her apartment. It was a large apartment, on the top floor of a high rise block, and from it were spectacular views of San Francisco. To the left, through a row of long windows, was the Pacific Ocean, and to the right was Lake Merced. In daylight, both could be seen in all their glory, but it was dark outside now and all that could be seen were the city's bright lights. Slowly, Kathryn walked across the room, unbunning her now long hair as she did, and made her way to the replicator. Even though she had not long had one, she needed another coffee. The strongest her replicator could make. She also needed the background noise to stop. Messages and incoming calls were flooding her comm system and the din was making her head hurt.

"Computer," she said as she picked up a newly replicated cup of coffee, "silence all incoming messages and calls."

"Request in progress," the computer answered. "Request fulfilled."

As silence fell, Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief and then sat on a long brown sofa in a stylish sitting area of similar chairs. It was lit by lamps, old fashioned ones with amber shades, and their golden light cast a cozy glow all around. In this tanquil haven, Kathryn leant back against the sofa and closed her eyes. But the voices inside her head would not quieten. Quite the contrary, in the silence they screamed louder.

Was she right to stay in Starfleet? Should she resign?

How could she stay? How could she resign?

_A rock and a hard place._

No soft place to fall.

Chakotay needed her, but so did her family.

Had to choose. Had to choose between people she loved.

_Back there._

Back there on that icy planet. That freezing hell that had killed her father and fiancé. Killed them because she could not choose between them. In trying to save both she had lost them both.

Sometimes there was no middle way. Sometimes the road forked only east and west, and it was impossible to know which was the right or wrong.

Sometimes there was no right or wrong.

Such was the crossroads she was facing now.

But her family had to come first. No matter how much she wanted to help Chakotay, she had to think of the repercussions for them if she did. And the repercussions were too great.

So the road was clearly marked.

Stay.

Stay and somehow put Chakotay out of her mind. Her duty to him, and his to hers, had ended when Voyager had landed. Even if her heart said otherwise, and her heart screamed otherwise, they were now nothing to each other but former colleagues. It was time to let go. Time to let go of the dream that someday they could be together.

But she didn't know if she could.

The thought of never seeing him again, of never hearing his laughter or seeing his smile, was unbearable. So unbearable that it began to thaw the numbness inside and bring tears to her eyes.

And then...

And then she was crying.

Crying so hard that all she could do was curl up on the couch and hug a cushion. Hug it and let the sobs wrack her thin body.

Couldn't breathe.

Didn't want to breathe.

Just wanted to die.

And then...

And then there was a loud buzz. It rang in her ears, like the sound of a thousand wasps, and echoed all around. Kathryn sat up, her senses awaking, and looked around. But before she could get her brain in gear, a bright red light filled the room. It glowed before her, swirling and twirling, and then disappeared leaving a lifeless man on the floor. He was dressed in black, from boots to jacket, and Kathryn gasped when she recognized him.

Chakotay.

In an instant, she was off the couch, kneeling beside him, and searching for his pulse.

There was one.

Strong and steady.

Infinitely relieved, as for a moment she thought he was dead, Kathryn took a deep breath and then went to fetch her medkit. It was in a cabinet at the far end of the room and was in pristine condition as it had never been used. When she had it, she returned to Chakotay, opened the case as fast as she could, and then scanned him with a tricorder. It diagnosed transportation trauma, a severe condition that could be fatal, but thankfully was easily treatable.

Working quickly, Kathryn treated him, and then she placed a cushion underneath his head to make him more comfortable. Then, when all was done, she knelt beside him and waited for him to wake up. As she did, she gazed at him in the lamplight, hardly able to believe that he was there. A part of her wondered if he really was or if she was dreaming. In her dreams they were often together. But every instinct told her that he was there. There, beside her, where he belonged.

Tenderly, she brushed her fingers against his tattoo. He looked beautiful in the golden light, his masculine features strong and handsome, and his hair was just like it had been when they'd first met. He looked well too, except for the dark shadows under his eyes, and she was profoundly glad that there were no indications that he'd been captured and tortured. There were no physical injuries and no sign of mind intrusion. His sole affliction was transportation trauma, and that could have been caused a number of ways. Given the red beam, instead of the standard blue, the most likely explanation was a malfunctioning Maquis transporter.

At last, Chakotay began to regain consciousness, and as his dear eyes opened, Kathryn took his hand in hers and smiled.

"Hi," she said. "Welcome back."

Chakotay stared, his gaze blank. "What...what happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. One moment I'm here alone, the next you show up." She squeezed his hand. "But I'm not complaining. It's good to have you here."

As the mist before his eyes cleared, Chakotay saw that there were tear stains on her face. Tenderly, he put a hand to her cheek.

"You've been crying."

At this, Kathryn uncomfortably broke away and shut the open medkit. "You have transportation trauma. I've treated it, but it might be a while before your short term memory returns and the grogginess wears off."

"I'm already starting to remember," he said. "In fact, almost everything." He paused sadly. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. I'm sorry things have turned out this way."

"Me too," Kathryn replied. "I never would have imagined this ending. I thought there was peace in your home space now."

"So did I. But our colonies aren't independent. Every day they...well, you know what's been going on."

"Yes. And I want you to know that I'm thoroughly ashamed of what the Federation is doing. They have no right to your worlds."

Chakotay's dark eyes twinkled. "Then I don't suppose you'll be coming after us this time."

"No," Kathryn smiled. "No, I won't be." She then averted her eyes. "I shouldn't have the first time. But I'm not sorry I did. The last few years...I wouldn't change them."

"Neither would I," Chakotay said sincerely. "They've been the best of my life."

Kathryn's eyes found his again. "Of mine too."

Chakotay returned his hand to her cheek. "I've missed you."

Fresh tears welled in Kathryn's eyes and she didn't even try to fight them. She couldn't. Neither did she try to hide them. All she did was place her hand over his and hold it to her face.

"I've missed you too," she said. "In fact, these last few months away from you, I've only felt half alive. But I didn't think you cared anymore. I've heard nothing from you in weeks and...and I hear about your resignation from someone else."

"I know. And I'm sorry for that. But I couldn't get in touch. My actions have been monitored for weeks and I didn't want to compromise you in any way. But of course I still care. I more than care. I love you."

"Really? You love me? Even after all this time?"

"With all my heart and soul."

"Oh, Chakotay," she whispered.

"That's why I'm here now. I wanted, and needed, to say goodbye."

_Goodbye._

The word made her heart bleed.

And she couldn't do it. She couldn't say goodbye to this man. Couldn't live without him.

"What makes you think we have to say it?" she said tearfully. "What makes you think I'm on the Federation's side? You know I never fight for wrong. I always fight for right."

At these words, Chakotay sat up, concern in his loving eyes. "What are you saying, Kathryn? That you want to join the Maquis?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But you're one of the most decorated officers in Starfleet history. You don't belong in The Maquis."

"Then where do I belong? Tell me, Chakotay? Because right now I don't know. My heart wants to fight your cause, but my head..."

Chakotay finished her sentence. "Knows what it would mean for your family if you defect."

Kathryn nodded. Then she got to her feet, wringing her hands. "Why, Chakotay? Why am I always asked to make unbearable choices? Daddy or Justin, my crew or the Ocampa, you or my duty, you or my family? Why? Why? Because there's only so much my heart can take!"

Chakotay stood too and gently took her by the arms. "You don't have to see this as a choice, Kathryn. You can help us _and_ stay loyal to the Federation. If we Maquis are going to succeed, we need Federation friends in high places. We don't want to be the Federation's enemy. We don't want to be anyone's enemy. We just want to live in peace. But we need the Federation's support. Some might not think so, but the reality is we do. We need an alliance. We need the Federation to recognize us as an independent state and to watch our back. Otherwise we'll forever be at the mercy of the Cardassians. You can help us that way. You can fight to have us recognized as an independent state and you can speak for the alliance. People listen to you."

At this, Kathryn calmed. "I...I never thought of that. I guess I'm so used to there never being a middle way that I didn't even look for one. But I should have. I should have exhausted all avenues. I just...I'm tired. I'm tired of always having to navigate through impossible courses and make impossible choices. I just...I just want to be happy." She lowered her eyes. "But I see that's not in my future."

Chakotay took her hands in his. "When all this is over, Kathryn, there'll be a time for us. Somehow, we'll make one."

Kathryn looked up at him. "But when will it be over, Chakotay? Weeks, months, years?"

"That depends on Starfleet. If they support us, instead of fighting us for our territory, then it will over in no time. The Cardassians won't oppose the Federation."

"No. But in the meantime you're going to be fighting a war on two fronts and that's...that's almost hopeless."

"Not hopeless, Kathryn. Difficult, and dangerous, but not hopeless." Tears filled his eyes. "Please help us. Even if I...please help."

"Of course I will," Kathryn said. "I'll do whatever it takes. But please, no more talk about you not making it. No matter how great the danger, we have to believe we'll see each other again. That's the only way I'm...the only way I'm going to get through this." A tear ran down her cheek. "Because if I think for just one second that I'm going to lose you, lose you the way I did Justin, then...then I can't bear it. I just can't."

The pain in these words was real and raw and knifed Chakotay's heart. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this to her. She had hurt enough.

"I'll stay," he said. "I won't fight in the Maquis. I'll stay and fight our cause with you on Earth."

At this, Kathryn stilled, hope momentarily lighting up her eyes, but then they dulled again and she tearfully put her hand to his cheek. "That you'd do that for me means...it means more than you can know. But you can't. If you do then...then you'll be making yourself less than who you are. I don't ever want that. Not even for my sake."

"But my family is dead, Kathryn. There's nothing I can do to bring them back. But I can spare you this hurt. I want to spare you it."

"And I wish you could. But you can't stay. You have to finish what you started. You owe it to yourself and to your people."

"But..."

"No buts. You know it has to be this way. We both do. So let's not pretend otherwise and torture ourselves."

Chakotay opened his mouth to speak, but just as he did, his round commbadge buzzed and a woman spoke.

"Rhona to Chakotay. Come in Chakotay."

Reluctantly, and regretfully, Chakotay responded. "Chakotay here."

"If you want a return relay tonight, it must be in the next five minutes. Otherwise you'll have to wait until tomorrow or the day after. The Cardies are on our tail."

At these words, anguish filled Chakotay's eyes and Kathryn saw a battle take place within. But it was a futile one as the outcome was foregone.

"You can't leave tonight," she said. "If I'm guessing right, that you got here by transport relay and intend to leave the same way, you'll have to wait at least twenty four hours. You were suffering from severe transportation trauma on arrival and a return transport now could be fatal."

The agony in Chakotay's eyes eased and he smiled. "Then I guess I'm staying." He addressed Rhona. "Did you get that, Rhona?"

"Yes, Sir," she answered. "I'll call again tomorrow. If not, the day after."

"Ok. Take care."

"You too. Rhona out."

As the connection terminated, Kathryn smiled. "Well, it looks like I'll be harboring a criminal for the night. With a little luck, for two."

"Yes," Chakotay smiled back. "And that...it'll give us time to consider our options."

At this, Kathryn took his hands in hers. "We know what they are, Chakotay. My place is here and...and yours is there. The only option we really have is to either dwell on what can't be avoided, or to forget about the war and enjoy the time we have together. "

"It isn't enough time," he replied. "Not now that...But you're right. We have to put duty first one last time."

"Yes. And it will be the last time, I promise."

Their eyes locked, their gaze bittersweet, then Kathryn tentatively drew him close.

"Thank you," she said, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you for risking everything to come here. I should be mad, I should be furious with you for risking a relay, but I'm too glad that you're here."

Chakotay held her in return. "I had to come, Kathryn. I had to know that you're ok and...and I just had to come."

Kathryn lay her head on his broad shoulder. "Do you have to relay back? You're welcome to my shuttle."

"Thank you, but a relay's for the best. I'll break it up so I'm not in suspension as long."

"Just make sure you do. A second relay so close to a first is dangerous."

Chakotay stroked her long hair, cherishing the privilege. "So is you having me here. Are you sure it's ok for me to stay?"

"Of course it is. No one will know you're here. But, to be on the safe side, I'll say I'm away this weekend. That way, no one will bother us."

"Where will you say you're going?"

"Oh, I don't know. Regis Prime, or somewhere. Anywhere they won't find me." She drew away and looked up at him. "But I'm glad you did. I'm glad you were able to get through my security system. It really is top notch."

"I don't doubt it. But I can't take the credit. The breakthrough was done by someone else. Getting into places we shouldn't has always been a Maquis speciality."

Kathryn's eyes twinkled. "Even on Voyager?"

Chakotay smiled. "One of the nice things about being a rebel is that you can keep some things to yourself_."_

Kathryn curled her lips, feigning annoyance, and then left him with a smile to close the blinds on her windows. Even though she knew no one could see in, as the glass was mirrored on the outside, she would feel better knowing they were shut.

"Talking of specialities," she said, closing all the blinds with the push of a single button, "can I tempt you to mine? Cream with two sugars?"

Chakotay's cheeks dimpled. "I'd say yes, but knowing you aswell as I do, I'm guessing you've had a dozen today already."

"Only a dozen?" Kathryn teased. "In a crisis? But you're right, I drink too much of the stuff. We'll have a hot chocolate. What do you say? A Belgian dark for old time's sake?"

"I say a Swiss white for the new."

Kathryn nodded, her eyes suddenly moist again. These were new times. Times that needed new memories. Special memories of their own. Memories to cling to in worse times.

"Then so say I. But first, let me get myself out of this uniform." Not only was it as dreary as hell, but it wasn't as Admiral Janeway she wanted to spend this time with him. It was just as Kathryn. Just as the woman he loved, who also loved him. "While I do, make yourself at home."

"Gladly," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn smiled back, a beautiful smile that made Chakotay's heart dance, and then she left the room.

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**


	4. Chapter 4

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

The night, in each other's company, flew by for Kathryn and Chakotay. They talked and laughed as though they'd never been apart and, for those few hours, the war and the world beyond were forgotten.

"I can't believe it's midnight already," Kathryn said as an antique clock chimed the magic hour. "I don't want it to be. I want this night, and our time together, to last forever."

"Me too," Chakotay declared.

"But it won't last forever. It will...But I refuse to be sad. This time is a gift and...and I'm determined to make the most of every second."

"So am I. And this night isn't over yet."

"No, but you need to rest. So do I."

Chakotay could see the truth of that in her eyes. While she looked as beautiful to him as ever, especially in the blue dress she was wearing, he could see that the events of the last few weeks had taken their toll. She was pale, drawn, and very thin.

"In fact, we should probably be getting ready for bed." She reached for Chakotay's hand. "The choice is yours. The tiny room overlooking the ocean, or the bigger room overlooking the lake. I must warn you, though, the latter is overloaded with my niece's toys. She comes to stay a lot and has virtually made the room her own."

"The small room will be fine," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn squeezed his hand. "Then it's all yours. I'll go make up the bed."

With that, she got up and left the room.

When she was gone, Chakotay recycled their empty mugs, to save her the effort, and then looked around the lounge. His vision was clearer than it had been earlier, as he was now almost fully recovered from the transport relay, and he could appreciate the apartment more than he had then. It was exactly what he would expect of Kathryn, modern but with a classic touch, and was styled so well that her Victorian antiques looked quite at home amongst bold and bright works of contemporary art. One of these immediately took his attention, an unframed one that hung between two windows. It was as tall as him, at least as wide, and had a fascinating spray of rainbow colors upon a shimmering white background. At first the image looked abstract, like it could be anything, but when he saw its title in red at the bottom, _Euphoria_, the image came to life in a way that made him smile. He was still smiling when Kathryn returned.

"I see you like my sister's masterpiece," she said, joining him before it. "Isn't it something? What, exactly, I don't know, but it sure is stunning. She gave it me as a moving in present."

"Yes," Chakotay replied, trying hard not to laugh, "I like it."

Kathryn noticed his amusement and frowned. "What's so funny?" She then put her hand to her hair, her hair that always had a mind of its own. "Is it me? Has my hair gone static?"

"No," he smiled. "Your hair is fine."

"Then what is it?"

His dark eyes sparkled. "Do you really not know what the picture represents?"

"No. To me these things are just splashes and squiggles. Why? Do you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

His cheeks dimpled. "It's erotic."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "Really? Erotic? The squiggles?"

"Very." He turned to the picture and gestured to a blue swirl that moved gracefully through the colors and merged with a pink flourish of similar design. "This represents a man and this a woman. Their bodies are entwined and they're in the throws of passion."

Kathryn tilted her head. "I don't...Oh, oh, I see it. Oh my."

"That's why it's called Euphoria."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed. "And to think I thought it was just a splash of nothing! Trust Phoebe for this. No doubt it's her way of getting back at me for never taking her art seriously. She has a wicked sense of humor. But oh, to think I entertained Admiral Henshaw and his wife here last month. What must they think?"

"I doubt they got the meaning," Chakotay smiled.

"I hope not. But I'm going to get Phoebe back for this. I'll tell her Aunt Martha loves the picture and wants a copy...for the nursing home she volunteers at run by nuns."

Chakotay laughed. "That will do it."

Kathryn laughed too, but as she gazed into his eyes, her laughter, like his, dwindled. For a moment time stood still, but as a familiar desire stirred inside, a desire that was strong but tender, they both became painfully aware of the picture.

But they weren't on Voyager anymore. They were no longer bound by the confines of Captain and First Officer. Tonight, whatever the future held, they were free. Free to love.

As Chakotay averted his eyes, the way he'd done a million times before, Kathryn gently put her hand on his arm.

"We're not on Voyager now," she whispered. "The past, the future, they're not here tonight. It's just you and me."

"But they are," he said, tears welling as he looked up. "The past, the future, they're always present. We're not free. Our love is still in the shadows with shackles."

"Then let's take them off and step into the light." Tenderly, she brushed her fingers against his cheek. "I'm not going to let you leave here without you knowing exactly what you mean to me. I'm not going to let you leave without showing you."

Sensually, she ran her fingers over his lips and then kissed them with infinite tenderness. Chakotay murmured and, as she drew away, a tear ran down his cheek. Kathryn kissed it away, holding the kiss long, and then hugged him.

"This...This isn't like you," he whispered, returning her embrace.

"On the contrary," Kathryn said. "This is very me." She pulled slightly away, resting her arms around his neck. "Who this isn't is the Captain. The officer who worked beside you every day always respecting the line. But she isn't here tonight. Tonight there's only Kathryn and she's not only madly in love with you but not afraid to show it."

Chakotay smiled through tears, dimples showing. "Madly in love with me?"

"To the point of...euphoria."

Chakotay laughed softly.

"And she's hoping you feel the same way."

"I do," he said, gazing deep into her eyes. "I've been crazy about you since the first day we met."

"Really? The first day?"

"The first moment on the bridge. You captured my heart with your bravery, your compassion, and your beauty. And you're just as beautiful now. My beautiful and brave Kathryn."

Kathryn smiled, tears in her eyes, and then slowly raised her lips to his. This time, Chakotay kissed her back, kissing her with the depth of his love, and they finally shared a kiss that was everything, and more, than they had ever dreamed of.

When, at last, they drew away, they hugged each other tight, no words needed to convey their joy. In fact, it was a long time before they spoke. They just clung to each other and cherished the moment. But then, finally, Kathryn broke the silence.

"Some people say," she said, "that it's better to have a dream than to have a dream come true. Because if it does, we may find it doesn't live up to expectation. But sometimes, even if the dream isn't the clear blue sky you imagined, it's no less wonderful for the clouds. Even when those clouds are black, for each one has a silver lining. And that's true for us. We were never meant to fall in love. We were meant to be enemies, two people from different sides of a war, but in the midst of a tempest that cast us to unchartered waters, we found something beautiful. We found love. And that love is with us now. Even though storm clouds are around us, and soon will separate us, the light of our love shines upon us. And that light, golden and pure in the darkness, makes this dream that we're living all the more special."

"It does," Chakotay replied. "But I'm afraid, Kathryn. I'm afraid that if we get too close it'll just make saying goodbye harder."

"I understand," Kathryn said, drawing away. "I'm afraid of that too. But I love you more than I'm afraid. I love you so much that what frightens me most is the thought of dying without ever having made love with you." Tears filled her eyes. "I know time is against us, and tonight it's out of the question, but tomorrow holds many possibilities. I don't want to have any regrets. We don't know what the future will bring, whether it will be kind or...but if it isn't kind, if...I can't even say the words... I want us to make a memory that we can carry in our hearts and cherish forever." She touched his face. "Even if only for a little while, I want my angry warrior to finally know peace."

Chakotay took her hand in his and kissed it. "He'd give his life to feel it. He'd give his life for just one night with the woman he loves. But he isn't angry anymore. Anger left his heart a long time ago. Now his heart just aches."

"Mine too. All the time. But not tonight. Not now you're here." She tenderly traced the course of his tattoo. "And while you're here I'm going to love you more than you ever dreamed possible."

Chakotay smiled, tears in his eyes. "It might be too much for my poor old heart."

Kathryn laughed softly. "If I don't give you a second shot of transportation trauma meds, due about now, that might well be the case." She kissed his cheek and then drew away. "I'll go get it."

Quickly, she fetched the hypospray, gave him a shot, and then scanned him with a tricorder. His condition had improved immensely and he was now almost normal. By morning he would be.

"I know it's late," she said as she put the medical instruments away, "and we really should be going to bed, but how do you fancy a soak in my jacuzzi? I always end my day with a bath."

Chakotay smiled. "I'd love one."

Kathryn smiled back. ""Then we'll have one. I'll go fill the tub and you can get undressed." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Boxers not required."

Chakotay laughed and then Kathryn went on her way.

* * *

After a hot and bubbly soak that was truly heavenly, Kathryn and Chakotay finally said goodnight. In a long corridor, both wrapped in soft white robes, they hugged and kissed and then went into their separate bedrooms. As they did, as the doors closed behind them, Kathryn suddenly felt very alone. Alone and anxious. Alone and tearful. Alone and lost.

Missed Chakotay.

Needed Chakotay.

Hardly aware of what she was doing, she opened her door, crossed the hallway, and entered Chakotay's room. He was standing by the bed, a single one that was adorned with a green duvet, and looked up.

"Kathryn?"

"I don't want to sleep alone," she said tearfully. "I don't want to be away from you."

Chakotay closed the gap between them and put his hand on her shoulder. There was concern in his eyes, but they twinkled in that magic way that instantly made her feel better.

"Well, you're welcome to stay, but this bed will be a tight squeeze for two."

Kathryn laughed, she could do nothing else, and then leant into him.

"Trust you for that."

Chakotay kissed her hair. "Shall we make it your room?"

Kathryn nodded. "Let's make it mine."

They held each other for a while, then Chakotay drew away.

"You go on ahead of me. I need to get changed and to make a call."

"A call?" Kathryn asked.

"A message. To Rhona. It might take her a while to get it, even our messages are relayed, but she will. I'm going to ask her to schedule, if she can, a transport relay for Monday. If that's not possible, I'll leave then by shuttle. A couple of days won't make any difference to the war but will make every difference to us."

Happy tears filled Kathryn's eyes. Two days wasn't long, hardly anything at all, but right now every second was precious. To know for sure that they would have the whole weekend together would mean more than words could say.

"If you can," she said, "arrange all that and stay, it would be...just wonderful."

Chakotay put his hand to her face. "I'm staying. We've waited too long, and love each other too much, to rush things. I want our first time to be special."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek and she hugged him again. "It will be. I just know that it will. And thank you. Thank you for being you."

Chakotay held her in return. "Thank you, Kathryn. Thank you for loving me when there are so many reasons why you shouldn't."

"No," Kathryn argued. "There are no reasons. There never have been." She drew away and looked up at him. "You're a kind, gentle, loyal, very brave man, and I don't know how I could do anything but love you. It's you who has every reason not to love me. I was going to capture you just for fighting for what was yours."

"I know you were just following orders."

"Hardly. Others had refused on principle. But the war wasn't personal to me. I knew no one from the colonies and wasn't in any way affected by the treaty. I thought...I don't know what I thought. That war wasn't the answer, maybe, that you Maquis were better off in custody. I didn't know much about what was happening on your homeworlds, nothing of the atrocities the Cardassians were committing, and thought the offer given to you all of relocation to another planet a fair one." She lowered her eyes. "Of that I'm ashamed now. Those planets were your home and...well, no one can know better than us how much home means. It doesn't matter whether it's a native planet, a colony, or just an asteroid. What matters is that it's home."

"Yes. But I don't judge you, Kathryn, just like you never judged me. The color of a war depends very much on what side you are looking at it from. We were looking from different sides, and saw black and white in different places, but by coming together and getting to know each other, we found that really the color was gray."

"Yes. But I'm a different person now. When we first got stranded I was naive and idealistic. Moral lines were clearly drawn in my mind and I walked those lines blindly with only the Federation's rulebook as a rope. Now I'm wiser and more worldly. I no longer uphold many of the values I once did, no longer expect others to, and no longer look for good in places I know I won't find it. Justice is corruptable, science fallible, and righteous causes not always rightly fought."

At these words, sadness filled Chakotay's heart. Over the years he had seen that change. He had seen her change from an idealistic woman, full of hope and optimism, to a lonely woman with cynicism in her eyes. It was not hard to see how she had one day become the jaded admiral who had cast aside everything she had ever believed in to fulfill a lifelong goal. The responsibility on her shoulders, the loneliness of command, and the constant struggle to survive in hostile space had taken their toll. It was, perhaps, inevitable, but still it saddened him. He'd loved that idealistic, moral, compassionate woman with all his heart.

"Don't change too much," he whispered. "Your ideals, your principles, and your courage to uphold them, make you who you are and I love you."

Kathryn tearfully gazed into his eyes and then raised her lips to his in a tender kiss. Chakotay kissed her back and then they hugged until Kathryn drew away.

"The message," she said, "how will you send it?"

"Through my commbadge," he answered. "But don't worry, the signal will be masked."

"I'm not worried," she reassured him. "I trust your judgment. But are you sure you don't want to contact B'Elanna? You and she go a long way back and she'd like to...wish you well."

"I'm sure. I have no doubt that she's being closely monitored and it would be too risky. You can say goodbye to her for me when you see her. She'll understand." He squeezed her hands. "In fact, right now, she's probably more worried about you than me. She knows how much we mean to each other."

"Yes. She called me earlier, as soon as the news broke, but I just...I just couldn't face talking to anyone. I'll call her while I'm waiting for you. Hawaii's some hours behind us and I can't do it tomorrow as I want everyone to believe I'm away." She put her hand to his cheek. "I'll see you in a bit. Don't be too long."

Then, with a kiss and a smile, she left.

* * *

In her bedroom, which was very much like her lounge, modern but with a classic air, Kathryn stood before a long mirror brushing her hair. She was wearing a slinky blue negligee, one with dainty shoulder straps that hugged her figure, and it matched the blue satin duvet on her four poster bed of silver frame and lacey white drapes. Opposite the bed was a row of windows, the view of the ocean blocked out by silver blinds, and the walls were a shimmering white. Around the room were pieces of furniture, silver in shade but Victorian in style, and the carpet was a pastel blue. Star shaped lamps lit up the room and on the ceiling a pretty pattern of silver flourishes glittered.

As Kathryn brushed, the bedroom door opened and Chakotay, now clad in black pyjamas, came in. He looked around, taking in the room's elegance, but when his eyes fell on Kathryn, he saw nothing but her. She looked beautiful, her auburn hair flowing over her shimmering negligee, and took his breath away.

"Did you send the message?" Kathryn asked, putting down her brush and turning to him.

"Yes," he replied, coming to his senses again. "Yes, I did." He then smiled, eyes moist. "You look beautiful."

Kathryn smiled back and closed the gap between them. "Thank you, Sir."

Gently, reverently, Chakotay skimmed his hand over her hair.

"I'm glad you've grown your hair again. I always loved it long."

"I know," Kathryn said, "that's why I cut it."

"You did?"

She nodded. "I thought it would ease the tension between us if I was less attractive to you."

Chakotay's cheeks dimpled. "And did it work?"

"You know it didn't."

Chakotay laughed and then slipped his arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck.

"Did you speak to B'Elanna?"

"I did. It was brief, as she and Tom have guests staying, but like all of us she's sorry things have come to this. Being the smart cookie that she is, she didn't say anything incriminating, but from what she did say, I guess she knows you've been in touch with me. I'm glad, because I wouldn't want her think we're excluding her."

"No. But she knows the score. She knows what life in the shadows is like and the sacrifices required to stay there."

Tears filled Kathryn's eyes. "I wish they weren't so great. It isn't fair that..."

Chakotay silenced her with a finger on her lips. "Let's not go there. Let's...go to bed."

At this, Kathryn could only smile. "For years I've dreamt of you saying that. In fact, you must have said it a million different times in a million different ways. But never did they literally mean to sleep."

Chakotay laughed softly. "I didn't know the Captain dared fantasize."

"She didn't. But Kathryn did plenty."

Chakotay's eyes twinkled. "Care to share some of these fantasies with me?"

"Oh, I don't think that's necessary. I'm betting some of yours were the same as some of mine."

"What about the ones that were different?"

Kathryn considered, curling her lips as she did. "To be disclosed at a later date."

Chakotay laughed again and Kathryn kissed his smile, she just couldn't resist.

"But I will tell you one now," she said seriously as she drew away, "one that really was just sleeping. On lonely nights, the kind that follow dark days and your heart hurts so much that you just want it to stop beating, I would imagine that you were beside me, holding me. Sometimes it felt so real that I could almost feel you there. That comfort, though imagined, helped me to sleep."

Tenderly, Chakotay brushed his fingers against her cheek. "I'm glad. I'm glad I could, in some small way, ease your pain." He drew away and gestured to the bed. "But let's make that dream come true. For both of us. Because I've fallen asleep imagining you in my arms too."

"Really?"

"Many times. Too many times. But not tonight. Tonight you'll really be there."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek and she took his hands in hers. "I love you."

Chakotay smiled and squeezed her hands. "I love you too."

They gazed into each others eyes, losing and finding themselves, and then they got into bed. Kathryn closed the gossamer drapes, cocooning them, and then cuddled up to Chakotay. As she lay her head on his chest, he wrapped his arms around her with a kiss. Kathryn closed her eyes and let herself melt into the long ached for embrace.

"This feel so good," she said, "better than I dreamed."

"Yes," Chakotay smiled. "But aren't we forgetting something?"

Kathryn looked up, her eyes meeting his. "Forgetting something?"

"The lights."

Kathryn laughed. "Of course, yes." She then addressed the computer. "Computer, lights out."

The lights faded, leaving only the pale glow of a silver nightlight, and in that cozy glow Kathryn snuggled up to Chakotay again.

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**


	5. Chapter 5

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Stirring awake, after a long and peaceful sleep, the first thing Kathryn did was check that Chakotay was beside her. For a second, she'd thought the events of the night before were just a dream. But they weren't. Chakotay was beside her. Beside her and awake.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Good morning," Kathryn smiled back.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in years. You?"

"Not a wink. Your snoring kept me awake."

Kathryn raised herself defiantly. "My snoring?" Then she saw the glint in his eyes that told her he was teasing. "Oh you. But did you? Sleep well?"

"I did. Although I tried to stay awake as long as possible to prolong the delight of having you in my arms."

Happy tears filled Kathryn's eyes and she tenderly touched his tattoo. "Want me there now?"

Chakotay smiled. "You bet."

With that invitation, Kathryn cuddled up to him.

"I can hardly believe you're still here," she said. "I thought, on waking, that last night was just a dream."

"Me too," he replied, kissing her hair. "But it wasn't a dream and I thank the gods for that. I thank the gods for you."

Kathryn snuggled closer and for a long time they just lay there in the silence, holding each other. Then Kathryn spoke.

"When are you likely to hear from Rhona?"

"It could be any time. In fact, there may already be a message."

"Really?" Kathryn said, breaking away from him and sitting up. "Already? Then you'd better check, Sir."

"Now?"

"Right now. You know how much I like to know what's what." She kissed his lips. "While you do, I'll freshen up and make us some breakfast. What do you say? Pancakes, fruit, and toast?"

"That depends," Chakotay teased, "on who's making the pancakes."

"The replicator," Kathryn laughed. "The toast too. I don't want to set off any alarms. I'm meant to be away, remember?"

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "You burn toast too?"

"To a crisp. And, I'm sad to say, Aunt Martha's cooking lessons aren't helping me any. Last week I almost set her house on fire trying to fry a fish. The heat was too high, the oil too hot, and before I knew it Uncle Ben's prize catch of the day was in flames. Thank heaven for safety sprinklers."

Chakotay laughed heartily.

"We ended up eating replicated and Uncle Ben was none too pleased."

"I'm sure he wasn't. But a vegetarian might call that karma."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed. "Revenge of the fifty fins."

"Fifty fins?"

"It was an alien fish, caught on Zorpla Rex."

"I see. Quite a way to go."

"I know, but he says there's no better fish to fry."

"Except when you're frying it."

"Yes."

They laughed together and then Kathryn put her hand to his cheek.

"I won't be long. When you're done checking your messages, stay right here. We'll have our breakfast in bed."

Chakotay smiled. "Yes, Ma'am."

Kathryn kissed him and then opened the lacy drapes around them. The night light was off now, replaced by the sun's golden rays that seeped in through the blinds, and the bright light told them the day was sunny.

"Looks like a beautiful day," Kathryn said. "Too bad that we have to shut it out."

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "But do we? If the glass is mirrored, I think we're safe."

"I'd like to think so, but..." With a sudden change of mind, she got out of the bed and went over to the windows. "Oh, what the heck! Let's open the blinds. If someone can see through the glass, they can see through the blinds."

Resolved, she pressed a button and the blinds slowly rose, flooding the room with light.

"Oh," she smiled, looking out at a sapphire sky. "It isn't just a beautiful day, it's a glorious day. There isn't a cloud in the sky and the ocean...just magnificent. Oh, it's good to be home."

Chakotay got out of the bed and joined her at the window. It was indeed a glorious day, and the view, of the San Francisco coastline stretching into a shimmering blue ocean, was just breathtaking.

"Wow," he said, slipping his arms around her from behind. "This really is what I call a view. It's amazing."

"It sure is. Being so high up gives some people the jeebies, but I love it. It's like being on top of the world." She smiled and leant back against him. "Right now I feel on top of the world."

Chakotay smiled. "So do I."

"It's so good to be this close with you. On Voyager I ached to be. I ached for...just a human touch. But not any touch. A loving touch. You must have too."

"Yes. Affection is a human need. If it's unfulfilled then we hurt. Humans are wired to love and be loved."

"We are," she said, turning to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "And I love you."

They gazed into each other's eyes and then kissed softly.

"But now I'd better go and replicate breakfast," Kathryn said, drawing away. "Otherwise it will be lunchtime before we know it."

"It already is," Chakotay smiled. "According to the clock outside, it's almost midday."

"Clock?" Kathryn said, turning to the window. "I've never noticed a clock. Where is it?"

Chakotay pointed. "On top of that blue skyscraper over there."

"Really? It's a clock?"

"Yes. Why, what do you see?"

"Not a clock," she laughed. "More like a silver ball. Which means, no doubt, I need vision correction." She turned back to Chakotay. "But shall we still have our breakfast in bed? After all, it isn't like we have anywhere else to go except the lounge."

"Yes," he laughed. "Let's have our breakfast in bed."

Kathryn smiled. "Then get yourself back there and I'll bring it."

With that, she left.

When she was gone, Chakotay picked up his commbadge, which he'd cast onto a bedside cabinet when getting into bed the night before, and switched it on. There were three messages. The first was from Drake, a Maquis warrior that was helping him recruit a crew, and the second was from Bilray, another Maquis contact who was informing him of a Cardassian attack on Tellis Prime. The third, however, was from Rhona. To Chakotay's joy and relief, she confirmed that a return relay could be arranged for Monday, and she would message again with the expected time. Chakotay replied, thanking her, and then he responded to Drake's message. When this was done, Chakotay switched off his commbadge and returned it to the cabinet. Leaving it on would be too risky. While its ingenious security meant that Starfleet was very unlikely to detect it, detection was not impossible. The less he used it the better.

Then, just as Chakotay was about to get back into bed, Kathryn came in. She was carrying a silver tray, on which was loaded their breakfast, and she was buckling under the weight.

"Ohhhh," she groaned, staggering over to the bed, "this thing is heavy! Ohhh, my arms are breaking!"

With a smile, Chakotay went over to her and took it from her. "Allow me."

Kathryn gladly allowed him and then collapsed onto the bed. "Ohhh...my arms are out of their sockets. Ohhh..."

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh. Laugh and tease. "I'm not surprised. Aswell as pancakes, toast, and fruit, you have a jug of maple syrup, lemon slices, a tub of ice-cream, knives, forks, a jug of orange juice, two glasses, a pot of coffee, two cups, cream, sugar and spoons. Forego the coffee and the load would be a lot lighter."

"Forego the coffee?" Kathryn exclaimed. "Are you serious? I'd forego everything else for the coffee!"

"I know you would," he laughed. "Which makes me think that Admiral Janeway...senior...was from another reality."

Kathryn sat up, rubbing her upper arms. "Think it? I know it! Me give up coffee for tea? Never! I hate tea!"

Chakotay put the tray down on the bedside cabinet. "With over three thousand varieties on Earth alone, there's got to be at least one to your liking."

"Maybe," Kathryn answered, "but who's going to drink through three thousand cups in the hope of finding it? Not this coffee lover."

Chakotay's eyes twinkled. "There's got to be a more scientific way."

Kathryn looked at him suspiciously. "And, from the look in your eyes, I'm guessing you've thought of one."

"I have."

"And?"

He climbed into the bed. "I'm not telling. Instead, I challenge you. I challenge you to drink a tea I select, by scientific investigation, and tell me if you like it or not. I say you will."

Kathryn got into the bed too. "Far be it from me to refuse a challenge. But tell me, Sir, how confident are you exactly that I'll like it? What's your stake?"

Chakotay thought a moment and then declared it. "If you don't like it, I'll tell you everything you've ever wanted to know about the deflector dish incident."

Kathryn smiled, clearly delighted. "For that, I just might lie."

"Yes," he laughed, "you just might. But you won't."

"Sure of that?"

"Absolutely. Lie detector armlets always tell the truth."

Kathryn playfully punched his shoulder. "Ohhh." Then, as pain shot down her arm, she seized it. "Awwww..."

Chakotay's amusement turned to concern. "You really are in pain, aren't you?"

"Just a little."

"Which, coming from you, means a lot." He kissed her forehead. "I'll go get the medkit."

"Oh, there's..."

"Every need."

He then kissed her again and left. As he did, Kathryn lay back against the pillows, inhaling the heavenly waft of coffee that was coming her way, and then with a tingling finger pressed a blue button on the headboard that released a table from the footboard. It slowly slid up over the bed and moved towards her. Like the four-poster frame, it was silver, and it extended right across the bed, though it was only attached to the frame on her side. It was perfect to eat off or, as was more usual in her case, to work off.

Chakotay then returned, the medkit in hand, and as he looked at the table, Kathryn spoke.

"Don't worry, I didn't lift a finger...well, maybe just the one."

Chakotay laughed. "Automated?"

"Automated. But boy, have I had some trouble with the baby! First it wouldn't move, then it moved so fast it almost killed me. Ten times I've had to have it fixed. Ten times! But I'm assured it won't play up again."

"I hope not," Chakotay teased, "I don't fancy being sliced in half."

Kathryn laughed and Chakotay climbed into the bed. Then he opened the medkit and scanned her.

"I'm happy to say your arms are still in their sockets," he declared. "You just have some straining." He picked up a hypospray and fiddled with it. "This should take care of it."

"I'm glad that's all it is," Kathryn said, tilting her head as he injected her, "my arms feel like...Oh, that's better already."

Chakotay smiled and put away the hypospray.

"But," Kathryn went on, "I don't think my treatment is quite done yet. In cases like these I think a massage is recommended."

Chakotay's cheeks dimpled. "Then I'd better give you one."

Kathryn smiled, pushed away the table to give them more room, and then positioned herself so he could rub her shoulders. Chakotay did the same and then gently moved her hair to one side so he could begin. Kathryn closed her eyes as his strong fingers kneaded her muscles and felt herself drift to a place that only he could take her.

But then, all too soon, it was over.

"Oh, don't stop," she sighed. "It feels so good."

Chakotay kissed her cheek. "How about we do a deal? I stop now, but give you a full body massage later?"

Kathryn turned to him, eyes bright. "It's a deal."

Chakotay smiled and then pulled the table back up. As he did, Kathryn reclined in the bed again.

"Did you have any messages?"

"I did," he answered. "And I'm pleased to say one was from Rhona. She thinks Monday will be ok and she'll message me again with the time."

"I'm glad. Even though I'm still worried about the relay, and would rather you left by shuttle, I know that a relay is, all things considered, the safest option."

"It is. And please don't worry, I'll be fine."

Kathryn put her hand to his cheek. "Of course I worry. If you can, send me a message so I know you're ok."

Chakotay took her hand in his and kissed it. "I will. Now, let's eat before our breakfast-lunch becomes supper."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed. "And I sure am hungry. It's been...I don't think I even had dinner last night."

"Then that's all the more reason not to delay," Chakotay declared. He then kissed her again, reached for the tray, and placed it upon the table. As he did, Kathryn instantly went for the coffee, and that reminded him of their challenge. "You know," he said, "you never made your stake."

Kathryn smiled, more to herself than to him. "You're right, I didn't."

"So, what's it to be?"

"I suppose what you want it to be."

"Which is?"

Kathryn put down the coffee pot and looked up at him. "How I know you hid the cider in the cargo bay."

Chakotay smiled. "For that, I might cheat and pass off a coffee blend as tea."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed, "you might, but you won't."

"Sure of that?"

"Tricorders always tell the truth."

Chakotay laughed, as did she, and then they got stuck into breakfast.

**END OF CHAPTER FIVE**


	6. Chapter 6

_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures._

**LIBERTIA**

**CHAPTER SIX**

Alone in the lounge, while Chakotay undertook his tea experiment in the kitchen, Kathryn attended to her messages and mail. She was now out of her nightclothes, wearing instead a green dress, and her hair was tied back from her face in a ponytail. There were over two thousand messages, most of them from journalists, and Kathryn deleted all but those from her colleagues, friends and family. There were far less letters, in fact only a handful, and only one parcel. This was from Mina, Kathryn's six year old niece, and was addressed from Scotland. The child was vacationing with her parents in Europe and every few days would send her only aunt a box of goodies collected on her travels. Sometimes the box was big, like today's, other times it was smaller. Kathryn picked up the box, which wasn't too heavy, and carried it over to the couch. Then she opened it, as eager as always to see what was inside, and to her delight found it contained a lot of Scottish souvenirs. There was a white aran sweater, a pink and fluffy Loch Nessie, a small toy soldier that was dressed in a kilt and playing the bagpipes, a tin of Scottish shortbread, a box of fudge, and a small bottle of Scotch whisky. There was also a letter, on pink paper, hand written by her niece.

"Deer Aunt Kathy," it read in wobbly writing, "I hop you liek theese prezunts. Thay are all from me egsept for the drinc. Thats from Mommy and Daddy. We are havin a graet time and I thinc I luv Scotland best of all the plases we hav bin. Ther are hundruds of casles and a magic lake with a monstur cald Nessie in it. But I dont thinc shes reely a monstur, I thinc shes jus shi of peeple. I was reely reely disaponted that I didunt get to see her but a old man we met sais no one eva dus coz she onely cums out at nite. I got you a toy Nessie and hav one for miself that is grene and ginomus. I luv it so much! Twmorow we are goin on a boot to an iland and the day aftur that on a reely old trayen. Luv, hugs and kisis, Mina."

Kathryn chuckled at the note, and then picked up the pink Nessie. It really was cute, having a friendly face with black button eyes, and reminded her of the one she'd had as a child. What had become of it, she didn't have a clue, but once it had been treasured.

"What do you have there?"

The voice was Chakotay's and Kathryn looked up to see him approach. Like her, he was now dressed, wearing a white shirt over beige pants, and he had a tray in his hands on which was a pot of tea and two cups.

"Another box of goodies from my niece," Kathryn smiled. "One of them being this little Loch Nessie."

"Since when has she been pink?" he teased.

"Good question," Kathryn laughed. "But as she's nothing but a myth, I guess pink is as good a color as any."

Chakotay put the tray down on the coffee table. "Who's to say she's just a myth?"

"Oh, you don't really think she exists, do you?"

"It's not impossible. The world still has its mysteries."

"Mysteries, maybe, but a legendary monster that still eludes detection? With all our technology? I'd sooner believe in fairies." She turned back to the box and reached into it. "But you won't believe what else she's given me. Something that will be perfect with our tea." She pulled out the tin of shortbread. "Authentic Scottish shortbread. Homemade and a hundred percent real."

Chakotay sat down, his eyes twinkling. "I'm so glad you're confident in losing."

"In losing? Oh, no. Even if I hate the tea, I'll drink it. After all, you have spent the best part of an hour selecting it. Besides, if tastes too bad, I'll hold my nose."

Chakotay laughed. "Maybe it'll taste good."

"And maybe Loch Nessie really is pink. But there's only one way to find out!"

With that, she put down the shortbread, put Nessie back into the box, and got to her feet.

"Where are you going? Chakotay asked.

"To get our truth tellers," she replied. "And before you say it, I know you were teasing, and I know you trust me, but this is a scientific experiment and should be treated as such."

"Maybe I wasn't going to say that," Chakotay teased. "Maybe I was going to say I already have the devices."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

He reached into a shirt pocket and pulled out a silver armlet. "My half."

Kathryn glared. "Then don't you trust me?"

"Of course. But this _is_ a scientific experiment."

Kathryn curled her lip, but then laughed. "I'll get my half. But I'm warning you, the one divulging secrets today will be you."

"We'll see," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn then went to fetch a tricorder and, when she had one, she returned to the couch and switched it on.

"So far so good," she said, scanning the pot of tea. "No coffee detected. Extra terrestrial tea, along with Native Earth, but we made no rules against blending. I'm also not detecting any artificial flavors or any kind of taste manipulation." Satisfied, she withdrew the tricorder and switched it off. "You pass."

"Thank you," Chakotay smiled. "Now for your test." He held up the armlet. "Your arm."

Kathryn outstretched her arm and Chakotay gently fixed the slim detector to her wrist. As soon as it was in place, green lights flashed all over it and it bleeped.

"If Pinocchio had owned one of these," Kathryn said, "he'd never have lost his nose."

"I wasn't aware he ever had."

"Really? You never heard the story of him having it cut off by an ugly troll who cooked it as a sizzling sausage?"

"No," he laughed, "and I'm curious as to where you did."

"The Book of Grimm's Fairytales, of course."

"Sure that's Grimm's and not Grim? I really don't think they wrote Pinocchio."

"They did. My niece loves that book and...Oh, the little devil! She changed the title on her reader! Oh, sneaky!"

Chakotay laughed. "That's one way of getting an unsuspecting aunt to read a dubious book. Smart kid."

"A little too smart. But I won't rain on her parade. I'll let her think she got away with it...this time." She turned to the armlet. "Now, is this thing ready?"

"It is."

"Then pour me a tea, Sir, and I'll give you my verdict."

Chakotay poured her a cup of tea, the liquid black and hot, and Kathryn tentatively put it to her lips. Slowly she sipped it, tasting it, and then put it down.

"Well?" Chakotay asked.

"I hate it," she declared.

Instantly, the armlet bleeped and flashed red.

"You don't," Chakotay laughed. "You love it."

"Caught red handed," Kathryn teased. "But how did you do it? It tastes more like coffee than some coffees!"

Chakotay smiled. "It wasn't hard. I simply asked the computer to come up with a tea blend that tastes as much like coffee as tea possibly can. It took a while, but eventually it did."

"Well done. Scientific thinking indeed. And congratulations, I lose."

Chakotay picked up the tea pot, pouring himself a cup. "So tell me, how did you know I hid my cider in the cargo bay?"

With a mischevious glint in her eye, Kathryn unclipped the armlet and placed it on the table. "You told me in an out of time experience. We were stranded on a planet, just the two of us like on New Earth, and were living in an igloo. It was a cold planet, ever winter, but the inhabitants were friendly and gave us everything we needed. How long exactly we lived there, I can't remember, but it was a while. Maybe months. We had a fire, beds and clothes of fur, and ate Native food, mostly nuts and berries. At night, snug around the fire, we talked of our Voyager days, and that's when you told me about the cider. We didn't think the crew were ever going to come for us so we made the planet our home. We became lovers and were very happy until time was reset and we were back on Voyager, only me remembering what had happened."

As Kathryn told this story, the light in Chakotay's eyes faded and he stared into the cup between his hands. It hurt to think that in some future, some time, he and Kathryn had lived the life he'd always dreamt of for them, but he had no recollection of it. It also hurt to think that she had the memory of being intimate with him but he did not share it. He'd so wanted their first to be truly their first time.

"I see," he said sadly. "Not quite the answer I was expecting."

Kathryn's eyes sparkled. "And not quite the answer I'd have given if I was still wearing the armlet."

Chakotay looked up. "You mean...?"

Kathryn nodded. "I made the whole thing up. You and me getting cozy in an igloo? What could that be except one of my fantasies?"

Chakotay smiled now, light in his eyes again, and then he laughed. "You really had me going there."

"I know. But the truth is, and I swear it's the truth, Tuvok told me. For security purposes, he did an inventory of every single item on Voyager every few days, just incase alien devices had been planted, and during one he discovered what he called "the mysterious case of the hidden cider". I told him it was no mystery, just a certain First Officer's." She took another sip of the tea that really was quite delicious. "No secrets on Voyager, I'm afraid."

"Except the deflector dish incident," Chakotay teased, "which gets to stay a secret for now."

"Must it?" Kathryn asked. "I mean, I've told you what you want to know and we're not on Voyager any more."

"You've told me because I earned the privilege," Chakotay smiled. "You'll have to do the same. But..."

"But what?" Kathryn asked, seizing the word.

"If you tell me more about your igloo fantasy, especially the bit about us getting cozy, I'll give you a clue."

Kathryn curled her lip. "I guess I can live with guessing a little while longer." She then smiled and held out the shortbread to him. "Please, help yourself."

Chakotay did and took a bite.

"Very nice," he said. "What else did your niece send you?"

"All kinds of delights. An aran sweater, the genuine article made of Scottish wool, a bottle of whisky...though that's technically from Phoebe and Zakk, a box of fudge, which we can share, and a guard doll in a kilt playing the bagpipes. She also sent me this letter."

She handed him the letter and Chakotay read it with a smile.

"Go on a boot to an island? I hope it's a big one...the boot, not the island."

"And waterproof," Kathryn laughed. "But don't knock my niece's spelling. It's good for six."

"I don't doubt it. She's clearly as stellar as her aunt."

"I don't know about that, but she sure looks like her aunt. Honestly, Chakotay, you'd think she's my kid, not Phoebe's. Put six year old me beside six year old her and you'd think we're twins. In fact, I'll show you."

Putting down her tea, she picked up a remote control that was lying on the table and switched on her entertainment screen. It appeared on the wall before them, tall and wide, and Kathryn quickly navigated to the desired file. As it opened, a cute little girl with long red hair and a face full of freckles appeared on the screen. She was playing in the snow, her blue eyes bright in the winter sun, and was wrapped up in a silver coat with a green pompom hat on her head.

"This is Mina," Kathryn said, "my niece. It was taken a month after we got home in Switzerland. Phoebe was doing some artwork there and they were all living in a cabin in the mountains. Oh, it was a paradise. I stayed with them for a week and we...me and Mina...had so much fun playing in the snow and seeing the sites. It really helped us to get to know each other because before I was just a long lost aunt stuck in space to her." Quickly, she selected another file and the video of Mina changed to one of another little girl playing in the snow. A little girl with the same red hair, blue eyes, and freckles, wearing the same winter clothes, but in blue and yellow. She was building a snowman and every now and then pulled faces at the camera.

"This is me," Kathryn declared. "Me at five. Don't you think me and Mina look alike?"

"You do," Chakotay smiled, looking in delight at this little Kathryn rolling a snowman's head in the snow, "you really do."

Having finished the head, little Kathryn tried to lift it up to place it on the snowman's body, but as she did she fell face first into the snow. Chakotay laughed, laughed until his sides ached, and seeing how much he was enjoying himself, Kathryn let it run.

"There's more if you like," she said, "me through the years in blooper style. Want to watch?"

"Absolutely," Chakotay declared.

Kathryn smiled. "Then sit back, put your feet up, and we'll watch it with our tea and shortbread."

Chakotay did just that and Kathryn cuddled up to him, her cup of tea in her hand and the tin of shortbread on his lap. Chakotay wrapped his arm around her and they watched the video together. Chakotay laughed as the Kathryn on the screen got into all kinds of trouble, from tripping over her own feet in the middle of a ballet performance to setting her hair on fire while cooking. From video to video, Kathryn grew, changing from a child into a young woman, and then a Kathryn appeared on the screen that totally mesmerized Chakotay. She was eighteen years old and was standing on top of a grand staircase in a gothic building that had magnificent crystal chandeliers. Her auburn hair was up in a fancy bun and she was wearing a long golden gown that shimmered in the light. In her hands was a pretty bouquet of white flowers, diamonds were gracing her ears and neck, and on her feet were stylish high-heel shoes that matched her dress.

"Wow," Chakotay said. "You look stunning."

Kathryn smiled, tears in her eyes at his obvious rapture. "Thank you, Sir."

The young Kathryn then began to descend the stairs, smiling as she did.

"When and where was this?" Chakotay asked.

"My cousin Liv's wedding," Kathryn answered, "in 2353. It was in an Irish castle and I was a bridesmaid...hence the flowers. Liv didn't want me to be, as she said she'd never seen me girly or graceful in my whole life and doubted I could be, but Aunt Martha insisted. Unfortunately, however, my cousin was right. Because if you think I look graceful now, keep watching and you'll soon see grace become gross."

Just as she spoke, the young Kathryn lost her footing on the stairs, crashed down them, and landed in a heap at the bottom. Gretchen ran over to her, the camera making a great swerve as she passed it to someone else, and so too did Aunt Martha and the wailing blonde bride. But, to the relief of all, Kathryn got up.

"I'm ok," she said, hair everywhere, flowers crushed, and dress ripped, "on with the show!"

Chakotay laughed, laughed so hard he could hardly breathe.

"On with the show?" Liv cried. "The show? This is my wedding! My wedding that you've just ruined! Oh, why did you make me have her, Mom? Why? Why? Why? I knew she'd ruin everything!"

"Nonsense," Aunt Martha said. "A tumble can happen to anyone...especially in those heels you made her wear. Just be thankful she isn't hurt or worse. The dress and hair we can easily fix."

"But the ceremony's about to start!" Liv wept. "Oh, I want to die!"

"Then do it quickly and put us all out of our misery," Kathryn snapped.

"What?!" Liv cried. "What did you say?"

"You heard."

The angry bride lurched forward. "Oh, I'll get you for that! Just you..."

But the fiesty girl was stopped by Aunt Martha. "Now, now, girls, no need to get the claws out! Put them back in and at least pretend to be ladies before you show us all up! Liv, wait with Aunt Gretchen. Kathryn, come with me."

"But..." Kathryn protested.

"Now!"

Kathryn sighed and then, picking up a broken shoe, climbed back up the stairs with Aunt Martha. Liv whined, moaning and groaning that the day was spoiled, and then sobbed uncontrollably on her maid of honor's shoulder.

"She really did think the world was coming to an end," Kathryn laughed as the video cut out and the screen went blank, "but it didn't. The wedding went on to be amazing and she truly did have the time of her life."

"Well," Chakotay smiled, "I'm certainly having the time of mine."

Kathryn smiled back, gazed into his eyes, and then kissed his lips softly.

"But I hope this isn't the only video you have," Chakotay said as they parted. "I'd love to see more."

"The only video?" Kathryn teased. "Are you kidding? I have something like five hundred! What can I say? Mom's a firm believer in capturing the moment."

Chakotay smiled. "Then long may she keep the faith."

"Amen. But before we start watching, go and make us another pot of tea. While you do, I'll pick out a video. One that doesn't make me look like such a clutz."

Chakotay laughed. "That isn't the word I would use."

"Then what would you use?"

"Sweet, adorable, cheeky...and beautiful."

Kathryn smiled, eyes moist, and then they kissed again.

"But are you sure you want tea?" Chakotay asked, getting to his feet. "I can just as easily replicate coffee."

"Tea," Kathryn confirmed.

"Ok. Tea it is."

Chakotay then planted a kiss on her forehead and left.

**END OF CHAPTER SIX**


End file.
